Monday, November 29, 2010

Butterflies & A White Dove

At the risk of sounding like a bit of a looney tune, bare with me as I share a part of myself that I don't talk out loud about often. I am completely convinced that God speaks to me through animals. There. I said it. I sort of understand if you will have a hard time taking me seriously moving forward. And so, if our friendship (be it real-world or cyber) ceases here, it's been nice knowing you. But really. I have believed this now for quite a while. As a matter of fact, that is why the name of my blog is Reflections of a Butterfly.

I will tell a quick version of why I would be so silly and audacious to call myself a butterfly. I was challenged by a seminary professor several years ago to consider how it is that I thought that God saw me. This was a very scary task because in my shame I feared that the Lord, the Knower of all and Seer of things would have had plenty of reason to chalk me up as too much to handle, stained, unworthy to be loved, or worse. (if there is worse.)

This assignment messed with me. Bad. I was seriously so scared that I almost didn't ask God. But with the hope of a small child coming out of a deep place inside of me, I begged Him to reveal to me how it was that He saw me. There are lots of dramatic details to this story, but let's just say that God made it incredibly, undeniably apparent that day that he saw me as a butterfly. Isn't that sweet? It was so much goodness, that it was hard to take in. But take it in I did. And ran with it.

My life became about living out of that place in me that was as beautiful and delightful and joyous as a little winged creature flitting about in the air. There are metaphors a-plenty that go along with this identity, and so my mind goes wild with thoughts about how and why God gave this image to me. I even still considered myself to be in a process of metamorphosis, moving along each stage of development as a caterpillar changes disappears in to a cocoon and will one day emerge as a breathtaking sight to behold. (Thanks to the blood of Christ, of course.)

Okay now, back to my original point. God speaks to me through animals. Settling in to that idea yet? And now, my story from the other day. I was driving to work the other morning. The sun had already risen, so there was a blue sky all around. Up ahead I see this bird flying over the highway. {This is the strange part}. It is hovering over the cars just ahead. Then is darting to and fro. Mind you, we are all going about 70 mph. It suspends itself in the air. It stays right to the side of my car for several seconds. It is a HUGE white dove. What?
Yes, as a matter of fact he (or she) looked just like this.

This was weird in so many ways. A white dove? When is the last time that you saw a white dove just hanging out? Short of a zoo or a wedding on TV, I don't know if I have ever seen a white dove. Especially in the wild. And it was ginormous. For a dove, I mean. Instead of dove, think crow as far as size goes. And it was doing everything it could to get my attention. Acting all crazy-like to make sure that it wasn't mistaken for a typical, non-message sending bird.

I haven't deciphered the message entirely yet, btw. Still working on that part. Biblically speaking as far as I know, the dove is the messenger of peace. Noah sent a dove to check to see if the waters from the great flood were receding. He soon delivered a message of good news. And a dove descended from heaven when JTB baptized Jesus. So maybe it's as simple as that. Maybe God went out of His way to make a fruitcake of a bird deliver a loud message of peace to me. And if that's it, I'll take it. I could use a whole lot of peace right now.

There is always a chance that this bird was fleeing from a life of captivity, going rogue and leaving the wedding business for good. But this, you see, would completely veer from my outrageous view and therefore squash my ongoing communication with God through nature. And so, I choose to believe what's behind door #1 instead of a more realistic and practical #2. And that my friends is my story. And yes, I'm sticking to it. Good day.

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